This week has been
absolutely crazy, I don't want to get too many details, but I'll give the
good stuff
So Monday as a district
we went ice skating at the local college. super fun and a great
workout. As we skated we talked about the things of the Kingdom of
God. If you looked and listened on from the outside your Jaw would have
dropped. Where else can you find 19-21-year-old kids talking about the
kingdom of God and salvation, spiritual experiences and etc.
Nowhere! But on a mission. So come on out!
Wednesday we had our
first district meeting. I fasted super hard for heavenly fathers help in
doing this. Never given a training before and wanted it to be good! So I
got up and started off talking about questions and their importance in
missionary work. Then I blanked, my mind turned back on, and I said in
the name of Jesus christ. Just like that it was over. I barely had
enough time to cover everything that I had prepared. The training went
well with everyone getting something out of it! Suepr exciting.
Cant waitfor future trainigs. Definitely have to rely on the Lord though!
Thursday first exchange
with Elder Song. Went and trained him on showing emotion during
missionary work, super funny! We had a decent morning. But by about
mid afternoon we had been rejected quite a bit. Finally, I had a person
really get under my skin and push my buttons. I will quote from my
president letter:
Unfortunately, I had someone get really deep
under my skin and push some really hard buttons. It seems that in my quest to
conquer my other weaknesses and focus on that aspect of my life, I have
completely neglected the other weaknesses in my life and Satan is now searching
out those parts of my life and is trying to work his way in through them. So
anyways this man somehow knew exactly what to say to make me mad in no time
flat. I started walking away but then he catcalled out to me and I blanked for
the next 4 seconds till I felt Elder Song pushing me away and then I really
walked away this time and didn't look back. It was extremely stressful and I
just wanted to cry. I felt so bad for the image I gave, but also that this man
just completely hardened his heart to us and wasn't even willing to listen for
a second to this wonderful message that if he heard would literally bring the
most happiness to his life ever! So I did cry and prayed for Heavenly Father to
help this man. Throughout the rest of the day, we just kept meeting very
unlikable people. Luckily I was already prepared and just walked away most of
the time so I don't have to worry about ever getting close again. I just don't
know what to do about it. I feel like I can't get close to those people because
I will lose it on them again and I definitely don't want that. So It's better
to avoid them. But I can't avoid them forever, but how do you love someone who
literally pushes every single one of your buttons so that all you want to do is
either run to avoid it, or run at them and pummel them? At the point where the
choice exists, there's not usually a lot of time to think and do something
Christlike, my mind usually is starting to lose its grip already at that point
It was really bad, I
don't remember much, Elder song had to tell me what happened. But all I
know is it felt terrible. I couldnt handle the anger and
frustration. Finally shook it off and have just been avoiding those
people ever since. It seems there are more of them lately. Havent
had a really good day since then. Just praying and studying trying to
find anything to help me. So far its just trying to love them, even when
the love is gone. Anyways!
Well, other than that
nothing much has really happened this week, that occupied most of my
time. The rest of it, I studied instancers of anger and patience in the
Sciptures and have been really praying for God to help me. Sometimes I
feel all alone and then I remember I'm not. I have Christ and the Spirit
on my side. And thats all I need. But then I have your prayers and
your wishes and I know that everyone is supporting me. So we push on and
exercise more faith hoping that he will answer our prayers. A scipture
just came to my mind:
41 ¶And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.
I have talked about
this scripture before, but it comes again, this is what we are striving
for. To be to the point where we can rejoice in persecutions and
challenges. I thought I was there, but I still have soooo much more to
do. And it gives me hope. becauseI know that if there is weakness,
that means theres strength, which means the Lord really is helping us and
fulfilling his promise in Ether 12:27. So we press forward
20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness inChrist, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men
Well, I love you family! I pray for you daily! Dont be
afraid to write me every once in a while!
The Lord is on our side! We will prevail!
Without Wax
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