Monday, November 9, 2015

The reality of missionary work

You know, if anyone came out and actually told expecting missionaries what they were actually in for,  I think it would scare the junk out of them!  It's hard work out here, it isn't always fun, but it is always rewarding!!!

This week was pretty dang good.  I'm going to skip around a little bit for my email this week as I am pretty scattered

Yesterday I had a pretty interesting experience while we were walking from our apartment to the post.  I was inwardly kicking myself, telling myself that my mission has been a failure.  I still have anger issues, still get tempted to do stupid things, can't control myself sometimes, still have a hard time not being condescending, etc.  And I was mad, so mad.  Furious that I had wasted two years of my life.  So I resolved to have an interview with president about how I felt.  Then I heard the voice of my mission president in my head and he said "Let's sit down and talk"  It was kinda funny, but realistic at the same time.  So I was in my head sitting and talking with my mission president.  He told me something a couple of months ago that I won't forget "You're being short sighted, Elder."  And so I reflected on how I was being shortsighted.  I have learned tons on my mission,  how to control my anger better, how to be nicer, how to love people I couldn't love, how to be more patient, etc, ad infinitum.  Too many things to list here.  And the voice came back in my head after I had listed some off and he said "This was not a waste, it was a learning opportunity.  You were not expected to be perfect, you were expected to learn and work hard."  And I thought about my mission, and I am so grateful that I was able to come out and experience these things.  It is not about being perfect out here, but it's about working hard and leaving it all out here.  God does not care who we were, or who we even ARE.  He cares about who we are trying to become!  And I have had that reinforced a lot this past week.  I was listening to a song and in the lyrics it said, "He's the only one who ever knows, who I am, who I'm not, and who I want to be"  It was true.  So it's been great reflecting on that and being grateful for these blessings that I have been given.  

Another cool thing that happened this week.  Elder Gildea and I were walking up and down the streets trying to find people to talk to.  And I had this heavy feeling on me, that something was wrong.  And I couldn't place it.  I was praying deep in my heart for an answer to what this was, but nothing was coming.  Finally, I decided to sit down and contemplate.  And I felt like something I had done had upset my companion.  So I asked him and he said no everything was ok.  Then I prayed again and just felt like I should tell him I love him.  So I did, and he was a little freaked but at the same time knew it was genuine.  We hugged it out and were on our way.  But it just showed to me how heavenly father is in the details of our lives.  He sends his spirit to show us and do things so that we can be better people all the time.  I had been judging my companion that day and when the spirit touched me like that it softened my heart. What a tremendous blessing that heavenly father could give me.

My last little thing is about someone today.  Our new investigator Calistus (pronounced Ka-leees-toos)  He's from Nigeria and we met him on the train on tuesday and set something up for friday night. I expected him to forget like many other people but when we called he was excited and was ready to meet.  We taught him and at first was a little uneasy (and I mean like the slightest amount possible) but quickly lightened up and felt the spirit and loved what we were teaching.  We invited him to pray about Joseph Smith and the book of Mormon, and he replied with "I will, but I already know the answer, its true, 100%"  My heart swelled with joy.  It almost felt like bursting!  He was a devout catholic, who had done everything when he was young and had attended faithfully for all of his life.  When we finished he stated, "I have never heard any gospel like this, this must be the true Gospel of Jesus Christ"  It was amazing!!!!!!! WHOO!!!!!! PROGRESS!!!!!

Anyways, this week has some potential in it too.  Elder Gildea and I are working our butts off to find people.   And I am trying to stay sane my last couple of weeks here.   I can know count on one hand how many weeks I have left and 32days!!!!!  W00t!  Stay in it till the end!  I love my mission!
Korea Seoul Mission is the Best!!!!!  
Love you all!

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Elder Yamagata

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