My companion and I had quite the experience this week.
As we were proselyting this week I had what I felt was a prompting to a go down a certain road, my companion however, continued to walk down a different direction, slightly angering me ( I hadn't had that happen since I was being trained). I voiced my disapproval at him right when he decided to start talking to someone. I refused to talk because I didn't feel to well about it. Long story short, I was forced into it, and then afterwards felt even worse. Eventually blew up on him because of how I felt. After several minutes of trying to talk, getting mad at each other, hurtful words, and finally having to call president, we were on our way home, deciding the future fate of our companionship. This was bout 1:45 when it started. We talked on the road, went home, pondered, prayed, talked more, prayed more, even slept to do what we needed to work things out. After almost 4 hours of talking, Elder Osbourne broke.
I have never felt the spirit so much flood into a room. I sat as I watched my companion fill with tears, he moved me to tears. He finally opened up to me about how he was feeling. (Normally he's very quiet about it). He was done, quite literally with missionary work. It was taking every ounce of energy to get out the door and it was hurting him mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was moved to go to him, to hold him. He's a year older than me, but I felt like he was a child, broken, done. He sobbed uncontrollably for minutes. After this happened, we were open with each other completely and fully. Things started to move. And after another hour of talking we finally finished with a prayer, both of us kneeling humbly before the lord. Finishing stronger and more united than when we started. It took us being humbled and becoming like children to truly open up and fix our problems. What a great experience.
Do I wish it wasn't caused by an argument, Yes. Do I regret that it happened? No
We both learned a lot of lessons about patience, humility, love. And we came out better on the other side, closer friends, and better companions. I love this kid. And I know he loves me. I'm grateful to be companions with him. But this incident also showed me a bit about how far I have come with my anger. I used to be a lot more hot-headed. But in the entire 5 hours of talking, I only yelled once. Which yes is still one more than necessary, but I was still great to know that I am getting better.
None of us are perfect, ever. But we try, every day we try just a little more. Push a little further to be a little better. Through the grace of Christ, we can improve every single day. I know it. He wants to see us improve and gives us all the resources we need to do so.
I hope all of us will take every day to try a little harder to stand a little taller and become better people. I know that as we do so, we will make the world a better place!
Love you all!
Ps. Spiritual experience of the week: I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting this past week simply of the truthfulness of the gospel. I was so happy that I didn't have to think it all through and plan it out in Korean. Immediately after sitting down, I was being tugged on by our one Korean member, Kim Ji Ooo. She called me, out of all 6 missionaries, to translate her testimony in Korean. It was quite the experience. Never had done that before. But I felt the spirit fall on me and help me translate her testimony so that the members could feel her spirit. What a wonderful time!
Northern Military Branch, Seoul Korea Military District